Fellatio Boy: Former President Bill Clinton
Fellatio Girl: His good lady wife, the current Secretary of State
The Silky Pony: John Edwards (the former senator from North Carolina, not the guy who communes with the dead)
The Poisonous Dwarf: Robert Reich, former Secretary of Labor under Fellatio Boy.
The Ratsocrats: those members of the Democrat party who rely on keeping poor people in serfdom, in perpetual peonage, for their political advantage.
Madame Squeaker: the distinguished CongressCritter for the diminutive California 8th
Gladys Hale (nee Schmenke): the woman who granted me the greatest boon of my life by agreeing to become my wife
Ursula Hale: my daughter
Bert Hale: my son
Sam Hale: my son
Gladys Schmenke: Gladys’s mom, the well-known badger wrangler and wolverine breeder of Appleton, Wisconsin
Dolores Beaverhausen (nee Schmenke): Gladys’s sister
Professor Francis Xavier Farquarharson: Currently occupies the Millard Fillmore Professor of Norwegian Farmer Studies endowed chair at West Edina Institute for Advanced Philosophical Inquiries
The Magic Negro: Currently incarnated in President Barack Hussein Obama, the magic negro is a familiar figure, especially in American film. He comes forward out of the mist, solves all problems, and disappears mysteriously and magically. Perhaps he is Christ, perhaps he is just a kindly angel, but something supernatural is going on.
Barney Fag: the lisping homosexual Representative from the Massachussets 4th Congressional district. This affectionate sobriquet is an homage to Dick Armey’s “unintentional” and immortal reference to him. Look, I don’t care how much ass sex Barney Fag has, I don’t care which consenting adults he sleeps with or what he does with them, it is none of Enrico’s business. Enrico doesn’t like him for reasons that have nothing to do with his private sexual activities. If Barney Fag were a piano player, or French, Enrico would ridicule him for those traits, too.
Dirty Harry: the not-long-for-this-world Senate Majority Leader.