You may already be a winner
Sometimes an enterprising police force will conduct a round-up of parole violaters, chronic traffic ticket scofflaws, and bail jumpers with the following strategem: they send the perps a letter telling them they have won a raffle, and that they should report to a given address at a given date and time to collect their prize!
The popo arrange for a faux local news film crew. The perps walk in all smiles, high fiving everyone in sight, and are promptly slipped the bracelets.
Enrico recommends that we adopt this approach for the midterm election. The unarguable premise: everyone who wants to be in Congress is inherently unsuitable for the job, simply by virtue of the fact that they want the job.
So, hold the election, and at the first session of the new Congress, send in the FBI to cart everyone off to the pokey. They have these zip tie thingies you can use instead of real handcuffs that will allow all 535 members of Congress to be manacled and frog-marched off in an hour or so.
Maybe we can contact the nations who offered to take the Gitmo detainees and see if they would accept delivery of THIS motley crew. Yeah, you got it: exile their sorry corrupt butts for life!
Then, I think the thing to do is to assemble a kind of a gigantic jury. Give 535 randomly selected citizens Congress jury duty for two years. Pay each one $500k per year, so that they (maybe) will be relatively temptation free.
Enrico guarantees a better outcome than the bullshit we’re doing now.
