Leaked CIA plan to whack Al Qaeda figures

The ratsocrats made a big noise last week about a secret CIA scheme, which really never got going, to assassinate Al Qaeda personnel.

It is just ridiculously transparent that the noise about this is related to the continued threats from Eric Holder to put the former administration on trial over various alleged crimes in connection with the prosecution of the war against Al Qaeda.  Obama’s administration is trying to calm the idiot moron traitor wing of his party by acting tough on stuff like this, even though he is surely not stupid enough to want to go down the road of prosecution.

I just John Bolton on FoxSpews, complaining about how Obama’s administration was unwise to disclose this plan (“plan” is really too strong a word), because it tips our hand in how we intend to respond to Al Qaeda.

I think this is horseshit.  Are the Al Qaeda dudes really stupid enough to simply take the public statements of Leon Panetta at face value?  If so, Leon Panetta should announce that we have a secret technology which allows us to explode the liverof any human being on the planet at any time, and that unless Osama Bin Laden turns himself in, we’re going to blow up his liver in 24 hours.

Or, Leon Panetta should go before Congress to deny the rumor that Bin Laden is really a CIA mole in Al Qaeda.  He should say, ok yes, he USED to be a CIA mole, but now he works for the Russians.

The more we confuse and worry these psychopaths, the better.

It’s official: credit card issuers are scumbags

Enrico is comprehensively revolted by the credit card industry.  They are scumbags.

The industry consciously conspires to get consumers to overspend, and to be perpetually in debt.  This is evil.

We’ve come through a long, long period of increasing bogus laissez-faire regulation, which has really just been corporatism run amok.  The pendulum is swinging back the other way, as illustrated by the shockingly swift effective cessation of one of the most abusive tactics of the credit card industry–the buried arbitration agreement, specifying that an industry shill will resolve disputes.

Years ago, Enrico made the error of leasing a car.  He was closing the transaction, being presented with form after form to sign.  Most of them were things like “Lessor warrants he does not have live eels in his stomach,”  and “Lessor agrees not to torch the Car with a mixture of White Phosphorus and Diesel Oil.”  But then Enrico came across the Arbitration agreement.  Enrico almost lost it at this point.

He asked something to the effect of “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing, casually handing me a document asking me to waive a fundamental constitutional right?”  Enrico ripped up the Arbitration agreement and darted for the door.

The salesman caught Enrico, apologized, and said no arbitration agreement was needed.  Unfortunately, Enrico did lease the car.

The fucking dog-fucking scumbags need to remember that a fundamental element of a contract is a meeting of the minds.  These arrangements where megacorp mails you 40 pages of 6 point type including an arbitration agreement are TOTALLY UNENFORCEABLE!  There is no meeting of the mind.  THERE IS NOT EVEN A SIGNATURE COLLECTED.  Any 1L who can’t beat this ought to be permanently banned from even expressing an opinion about the law.

Gotta side with the goobernator on this one

Cyclists are pissed off at Goobernator Goodhair over his veto of a bill to increase protections for cyclists on the road.

While there’s no doubt that the Goobernator should be defeated, I gotta say, this was a stupid bill.

It is already sufficiently illegal to run cyclists off the road.   Making it double-secret illegal won’t help anything.  The specific provisions in this bill, the six foot margin, for commercial vehicles, the three foot margin for private vehicles, if actually enforced, would cause havoc on Texas roads.  No one should delude himself that it would actually be enforced, much less adhered to.

Just say “no” to Dan Patrick

Enrico systematically voted against all Texas Republicans in November 2008, but he made an exception for Dan Patrick.  Dan Patrick talked a good game about the evils of Goobernator Goodhair and his evil henchman, the Lt Goobernator.  Patrick focused on the need for property tax reform, the need for which no sensible person can possibly dispute.

But then, Enrico read that Dan Patrick was defending the dickhead Don McLeroy, the idiot dentist who thinks that the planet Earth, yes, THAT planet Earth, was created in the relatively recent past, like, about five thousand years ago or so.  I think he and his moronic coadherents get to this stupid conclusion by adding up the ages of various patriarchs who are featured in the Torah.

Don McLeroy was, until recently, the chairman of the state Board of Education.  He was voted out of this position, and it was reported that Dan Patrick advocated that he be retained in the post.

Enrico wrote a letter to Senator Patrick, asking him if it was true, and telling the Senator that, if it was, Enrico could no longer support him.

The last person we need in a position to oversee the public education system of Texas is a person who devoutly believes in concepts which are not supported by facts, and who advocates that these baseless theories be taught to the students of Texas.  This is, I believe, a fair characterization of Don McLeroy.

Senator Patrick wrote me back that it was true, and he is unrepentant.

That’s it for me and Senator Patrick.  Well, heck, much easier to just pull the straight ticket lever anyway.

Here’s a newsflash, Senator Patrick:  there is no rule requiring conservatives to be fucking idiots.  You have other options.

Enrico has said it before, and he will say it again:  the religious right is the curse of the GOP.

I was proud of my sons

Recently, Enrico and his family (ok, ok, yes, I mean “Gladys”) hosted a pool party at the Enrico swankienda (that’s the new term to replace the previous pat phrase “modest abode”) for a random assortment of Enrico’s friends and friends of Enrico’s kids.

At one point, there was a massive random outbreak of Marco Polo in the pool.

The Marco Polo event included contestants ranging from age 4 through age 4X (a gentleman does not inquire the age of Marco Polo contestants beyond a certain age).

Enrico daughter Grace was a contestant, and was disproportionately “it” as she is eight years old and, while she is a very capable swimmer, she IS eight years old.

Enrico observed his sons Bert and Sam habitually allowing Grace to tag them.

Enrico had to turn away to hide his tears of pride.

Enrico texted his son Bert to inform Bert that Enrico was proud of Bert and Sam.

Bert has not replied.

The Selfish Gene

Enrico’s scientific team has been doing a little irregular anthropological research into the mating habits of the hairless apes inhabiting certain regions of the North American landmass.

The female hairless apes, it is widely accepted, scrutinize their suitors for traits found desirable by the hairless apes, and utilize a wide variety of non-intuitive proxies to assess their suitors.

For example, a male hairless ape with relatively more hair on his cranial region is deemed relatively more desirable.  A male hairless ape who has sufficient muscular control over his vocal cords for sustained rhythmic voiced wailing, and the stamina to carry on the wailing at length, at times for hours,  is deemed quite desirable by the female hairless apes.  The male hairless ape who can induce the female hairless ape into a kind of staccato pulmonary-vocal spasm, known as “laughter” in the hairless ape lingua franca, through humorous antics, is deemed quite desirable.

It must be seen as axiomatic that these unusual proxies have proven through the eons of hairless ape existence to be reliable proxies for detecting mates who are capable of producing healthy offspring, thus propagating the genetic information of the male hairless apes who are relatively more hirsute on their craniums, for example.

Enrico’s research has focused on the initial moments of male-female contact, when the male is gambling all on some strategem to gain the female’s attention, which will permit him to exhibit the totality of his qualifications to mate with the female.

Here are some of the most successful initial gambit stratagems Enrico’s crack team of anthropological researchers have docume nted:

–  Male:  Are your clothes made of mirrors?  ‘Cause I can see myself in your pants.

–  Male:  Did you know that the human body has 206 bones in it?  Female:  [answer irrelevant].  Male:  Would you like to have one more?

–  Male:  Are you related to Oscar Meyer?  ‘Cause you sure have given me a footlong.

–  Male:  Do you know, I have a supernatural time-telling device which tells me that you are not wearing underclothes.  Female:  [Typically, female hairless apes will not admit to omitting underclothing, even if this is in fact the case.  There is apparently some widespread hairless ape fetishism around the wearing of underclothing.  If the female confesses to being without underclothing, then the male hairless ape sees his way clear to immediate mating.  If the female hairless ape denies this, then the gambit proceeds.]  I am too wearing underclothing.  Male:  Oh, my supernatural time-telling device must be 15 minutes fast.

Enrico’s researchers admit to being baffled by the non-intuitive nature of the scrutiny of potential mates.  Enrico’s researchers also noted that, when a male hairless ape makes a straightforward request that the female hairless ape consent to mating activity, one-third of female hairless apes consent and mating immediately ensues.

Enrico invites his readers to report on other unusually successful initial male gambits.